Selfish Ask for Help in Situation
I don't have many friends in the industry. Seeking out opinions from those here - I'm happy to answer any questions on my time in banking or UMM PE too.
I enjoy my job, and I'm very good at it, to be blunt. Im a VP2, early promote (only promote in class without business school), and on partner track (happy to give any advice to those that want it).
I am so perpetually tired and burned out. Over the last 6 months, I can tell I give less of a shit, and from my view, it's apparent in my performance. Somehow, this has gone lost on others, and my stock at the firm is in good standing. I perpetually feel guilty that I'm throwing away a dream position, but I can't will my mind to move forward, each day is a struggle. I've only seen mad men once long ago, but I dream every day of just walking away into a cloud.
my ask is: I don't need solutions to burnout (I've read great answers on the forum) - my issue is I don't have enough energy to even deal with my burnout. I just don't care enough to move. I've been grinding for god knows how long. How do I event get myself to fix this - is there a way back to who I was?
I'm not in a relationship and my family is in another country. I dated a girl for 6 years before she called it off, and I'm burnt out from relationships too.
I work out, I bike, I eat healthy, and I have friends. I just don't feel like I have a soul, and all I desperately want us to go find it. My happiest moments are in interactions with completely new people. Im so sorry for this complaint-filled post, I just needed to put this on paper. Feel free to ask questions on PE/IB advice, and I'll happily answer.
Hey man, I'm really sorry to hear that you're at this low point in your life/career. Take what I say with a grain of salt because I'm just now starting as a first year in IB and I'm only 22, but here's my 2 cents anyways:
It seems like you've basically won at the "game" that the world is playing and are starting to feel that gut wrenching feeling of "is this all there is to life?" You might be confused why you aren't happier, because the world (friends/family/peers etc.) either told you directly or implicitly, that there would be happiness at the end of it all. That if you delay your gratification long enough... it will all be worth it.
Again, I'm much younger, and so I'm not trying to say I have it all figured out, but I had a very similar mindset to what I described above in my college grind (Ik Ik, nothing compared to IB/PE). Then, about 6 months ago, I became a Christian and it completely changed my life and way of thinking. It seems like you've tried all the typical "healthy life" advice like meaningful relationships, working out, and eating healthy, but have you considered what you believe about God? If you desperately want to find your soul as you said, trust me, getting real about what you believe about God and this world is the only way.
Please feel free to pm me If you're interested and want to talk more. Also, would love to get your advice on PE hahah. So, think it would be a beneficial convo both ways. Best of luck brother.
Thanks for the thoughtful response. Feel free to PM questions on PE or post them here for everyone's benefit.
I've considered Christianity, but I'm inherently skeptical / have a hard time believing without seeing (in general) - that said, I think there's a lot of value to reading to bible, given how often my other readings reference it, and I go knows, maybe something will stick.
Do I just pick up a bible and start reading? How do I start?
I want to offer a different view. I went to a Christian school and really believed for a long time, but I could never resolve the good God/bad world scenario. If he was all powerful and good why is there so much misery? If its free will and he granted it to us knowing we would sin, did he not sentence his creations to hell by making them? Alas, I know I'll get MS'd but that's just how it is. I found that the more unhappy I got about things the less religious I was.
I mean no disrespect to those who do believe in God, faith is inherently a personal thing and if you believe all the power to you. But I could never rectify what I see to be contradictions.
Also, I thoroughly recommend hiking. Buy some shit, take a week off, and hike a nice long trail and spend some nights in the wild. If you indicate which area you're in I'll happily give some suggestions. It's something about the physical exhaustion, beauty of the outdoors, and utter escapism that always gets to me. Look up this guy named Harmen Hoek, makes the most beautiful videos and often has me questioning if I picked the right career.
All in all, I really hope things get better for you. I don't think anyone has all the answers. Good luck man.
Hey OP - to offer my thoughts on this as someone who wasn't raised Christian (see my other comment to your question below), I think it definitely takes time to know God and develop your faith. It doesn't happen overnight and it can take many years.
I think the first and best thing you can do is to join a Christian community. Find a church where the members of that church are welcoming, friendly, and righteous. I would start out by going to a service on Sunday, then joining a small group, where people can develop closer relationships and help you answer some of those tough questions that you have about faith in God. Learning about and worshipping God is much easier when it is done in a group.
second, addressing your intellectual understanding of God and Christianity, there is a whole branch of apologetics that seeks to "prove" the existence of God and the teachings of Christianity. These are rigorous arguments that draw on philosophy, history, and science, and you can find these resources online in the form of articles or videos. Hopefully this will address some difficult questions you may have.
ultimately, though, I think you need to feel God. This feeling doesn't come overnight (at least it didn't for me), but if you are genuinely curious and if you genuinely seek God, God will reveal himself to you, and you will feel his presence. Good luck!
Also you can't PM anyone posting anonymously by the way
- guy who suggested hiking
That's great to hear that you've considered Christianity. It seems like you already have a great perspective, skeptical but willing to look into it is exactly where I was when I started on this journey.
I would definitely not recommend just picking up the Bible and reading it. Candidly, it can be very confusing and at times require a good amount of historical understanding to interpret properly. A better approach would be to talk to a Christian and ask them questions. I would be happy to be that for you, or you can ask a leader at a local church (called elders usually). With being a skeptic as well, what really helped me was weekly meetings I had with a local pastor who was also a PhD holding professor in Philosophy and Theology. I felt like I just needed an academic/analytical person to talk to about all the questions I had. Which he answered in ways citing not only the Bible but ancient Christian texts and philosophy.
Ultimately, there's not going to be some magical suggestion on this forum that's going to fix this. I'm sorry but hiking just isn't going to do it. Neither is the next suggestion and the one after that. This is about finding real meaning, real purpose, which is only found in seeking why we're here, and ultimately, the one who made us.
I second this suggestion. I decided to follow God in college (family wasn't religious) but because of work (IB, PE) I stopped going to church after college. In my UMM PE role I began to feel increasingly burnt out, which led to feelings of depression and hopelessness. One day I decided to go to a church nearby by apartment, and within the first song, I had tears streaming down my face, and all the tension inside me was instantaneously released. I was not expecting myself to have such a strong response. But worshipping God and going to church is such a soothing experience. Feeling Gods presence and knowing that He is watching over you brings true joy in your life.
About your career, if you are feeling unfulfilled I think it's not too late to pivot into something else entirely. One of the major benefits of working in finance is that you save up a lot of money, and if you've achieved that and want to move on, I think you totally should do that. But for your next role, pursue something that will bring you joy and fulfillment. Ask yourself what you value and go find what you are looking for. Good luck!
Advice from someone around your age who has faced extreme hardship throughout their life and needed to find ways to keep going before finding their way in life.
Have you tried volunteering? Maybe consider exploring opportunities where you can make a tangible difference in people's lives. Whenever I've felt lost and burnt out, helping others has reminded me of how fortunate I am and has helped me keep moving forward. Coming from a background of extreme poverty, the outcomes might vary in your situation.
Regarding the points above, I'm unsure about recommending a deep dive into religion, but focusing on spiritual growth could be beneficial. Slightly off-topic, I don't particularly like organized religion and find most aspects unappealing, but I do believe in a higher being, and my faith has supported me through tough times. Try to find ways to nurture your spirituality and cultivate that aspect of your life.
I strongly disagree with the notion that gaining spirituality requires following a religion. As you can see above, people will simply begin suggesting that you follow religion X, and then it leads to questioning why not religion Y or religion Z. One common thread among all religions is spiritual growth, which can still be achieved without becoming part of an organized religion.
As a Christian, I assume the others here aren't doing a deep dive into Christianity versus other religions because that's not what this post is about. Instead, they're offering OP to explore Christianity and ultimately find its truth on his own if he chooses.
I would think about your end goals of working in the industry. If you are moving towards them, then take a long vacation and continue. If you are not, now is the time to pivot. You are young and have enough experience to have many options.
Hey was in a similar situation. I just needed to feel something hence started to explore more deeply what actually makes me tick and gives me kick. Long story short, went in bdsm. There is quite a bit of options there for good looking and wealthy guys.
Rerum necessitatibus debitis a. Ipsam facilis architecto recusandae debitis.
Doloribus quidem placeat modi mollitia soluta velit occaecati. Voluptate in dolores qui vel. Qui nobis totam ex quia quibusdam dolores laboriosam. Excepturi qui doloremque voluptate tempore at.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...